Getting Help

“A problem shared is a problem halved” is a common saying that is very true when it comes to asking for help. It is really common, especially in New Zealand, for people to feel uncomfortable about asking for help. However, as you will hear from the players on this site, asking for help is one the best things you can do. 

Know how and where to ask for help

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or want to know how to talk to someone, this information will help get you started. Or if you need help right now click below to find out how.

Some of us have been brought up to feel as though asking for help means that we are “weak” or not “tough enough”. Some people feel like they should try and solve all of their problems on their own.

This is just not the case. It is always ok to ask for help. No matter what challenges you are facing there is someone out there who is willing and ready to help. You wouldn’t suggest to a struggling mate that they just “get over it” on their own, and the same goes for you.

Knowing how to ask for help and where to go are really important steps. Hear Keven speak below and read on to find out more.

Asking for help

Some of the biggest challenges people face when asking for help are a fear of being judged, feeling embarrassed or not knowing how to ask. Below are some common barriers people face and ways to overcome them.

  • Feeling like asking for help is a sign of weakness – Asking for help is the opposite of weakness. In fact it shows courage, an awareness of yourself and a desire to make things better.
  • Being put off by a bad experience – Sometimes when you ask for help you don’t get the response you were hoping for. It might’ve been bad timing or not quite the right person but don’t let that put you off asking for help again. Be selective and choose someone you trust.
  • Not knowing what to say – It can be tricky to know how to explain how you’re feeling or get it across the way you want to. There is no right or wrong way but a good tip is to write down a few of your thoughts or worries and use that as a prompt for when you chat.

Getting professional help

Making the decision to ask for help is a great step. It’s not always easy but acknowledging you need more support and doing something about it is incredibly positive and brave. Speaking to your GP is a good first step. They’ll be able to help you find the right support for what you need.

It can take time to get to the bottom of what is going on for you and that may mean a handful of appointments or more. Be patient with yourself and the person you are speaking to.

If you want to explore other options for support, have a look here at the list of people who can help.

Tips for meeting with your GP or another expert

Make a list

Make a list of what’s been going on for you, how you’ve been feeling, the changes you’ve noticed and any worries or concerns you have.

Take a friend

If you don’t feel comfortable going alone, consider taking a friend or family member with you for support.


Remember any questions you have about what’s going on. The more questions you ask the more you can learn and understand.

Have an open mind

Have an open mind about the appointment. Sometimes it can take a few sessions to feel comfortable and you may not get all the answers you want straight away.

What else can I do to help?

Knowing how and where to ask for help is a great step. There are a few other things you can do to make getting help easier too. Have a look below to find out more.

Choose someone you trust

Deciding who to talk to is important and making sure they are someone you trust is key. They should be someone who will listen, be understanding and accepting. Sometimes they might not have the answers so talking to an expert can help.

Let people know how you’re feeling

Try and be as open as you can with how you’re feeling. You could try and think of some examples that explain what’s going on for you. If you’re finding it tough to speak, see if the other person can ask you some questions about what is going on.

Set aside time to chat

It can be tricky to find a good time to chat to someone about how you’re feeling so it can be helpful to choose a specific time and place. It doesn’t have to be formal or serious but knowing you have a set time can encourage you to chat and avoid interruptions from others.